Now with my next epic…J

I am single and looking forward to meet someone to get married to. I tried all the possible ways with myself. I didn’t complete my education because of several reasons but I wouldn’t hesitate and mind in saying that I was foolish / stupid and didn’t like studying. Now I get the pull for being what I was in the past regarding education. I was a shy guy. On numerous suggestions from my friends I changed myself, now I am not shy.

I talk and… talk a lot. I can talk on any subject no matter even if I don’t know a hell about the subject. I come across so many girls and without hesitation I talk but .. Hell no effect. Maybe they are not meant to be.

I changed my life style. I treat myself and well I don’t overdo it. Before I was a little depressed about my looks but then I realized that I have to be happy with what I am because I am at least normal, after seeing some of them being physically challenged, children with special needs- name it and you will come across some in your own locality. Now I am happy with my looks and indeed confident since also care for my health. In the end the purpose I am doing all this is to get some admiration from someone who would like to have a future with me after knowing me. Earlier I never used to socialize at all- now I socialize and have more friends than before. I never liked the idea of chatting over the net for a simple reason that how would I know that the person on the other side is really what she claims to be or it is just a waste of time and money. Now I visit chat rooms and have indeed made friends.. hmmm well none are females because I think the females on chat sites come for some other reasons, of which I don’t have any idea. But I still try to know someone every day.

Then to expand my search I registered myself in a marriage site. I gave in all the details that are true so that there shouldn’t be any changes in the stories later. Guess what?  I didn’t receive any request or any interest from a single female on the whole damn site. Huh I got worried about myself. My confidence started blurring I started getting the same old feeling of depression and disliking again, what to do. I expect someone who likes me the way I am because this same me is going to be till the end. I discontinued visiting the site after 6 months because all I could see was females asking for boys with exceptional education, wonderful life status, handsome = film stars in every aspect with height, physic and wealth. I am neither of this. I am just an ordinary guy who is earning a meager salary, living my livelihood and supporting my family. After quite some time maybe six months later I started accessing my mails and then I had a spam from another site. This site looked promising and enrolled my name in this for a second chance. It was really unexpected when I received an interest from a female saying that she is looking for someone like me. But in dismay the person on the other side was a fake and tried to cheat me with money. “God what did I do wrong. Am I cursed, am I ugly or am I not meant to be married? If there is any such thing then hit me with lightning” was my cry for following 2 weeks. After another 3 months I gave up looking for someone to marry. Now I have decided not to hinder in any direction for alliance. Because all I understood that there are plenty of females in these sites and all around me but it is not me that one is looking for. They have expectations which I cannot match.. Dude

Friends this is not a criticism. Please don’t take it personally. I spoke what was building within me.

Thank you for reading.